Some people have a garden...I have a modern day totem pole

Some people walk out their front door into their garden.

Stepping just outside my condo last night, I walked into this:
It used to be a tree. Now it's. Well, what is it? What is something that uses more staples than a tummy tuck, yet somehow works to bring together the heavy-metal, the lonely singer-songwriter, and the lone Seattle hip-hop artist? All on one hole-ridden pillar of marketing crap?

It's like a modern day totem-pole, telling a story of Capitol Hill's music and livelihood.

And, it's a place where your bike can rest.